417/Survivor's Guilt

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Survivor's Guilt
Date of Scene: 28 October 2017
Location: Repair Bay
Synopsis: Hyperdrive is distraught over being unable to protect his friends.
Cast of Characters: Swivel, Hammerstrike, Hyperdrive


Hammerstrike has posed:
    In his condition after the altercation, Hammerstrike could not have carried Hyperdrive all the way to Iacon on foot. Thankfully, the Decepticons did not pursue them all the way to the outpost, and there, both Hyperdrive and Hammerstrike were met by a medivac, who were able to stabilise Hyperdrive, and bring them both promptly to Iacon for further repairs. Some time had passed since.
    Hammerstrike was still present in the repair bay, although worn out and in a restive state. The techs would occasionally try to reassure Hammerstrike with positive updates on Hyperdrive's condition, but he usually responded with sullen silence or a dismissive wave of his large hand, not seeming to want to be bothered by the fuss.

Hyperdrive has posed:
Hyperdrive is not doing well though by now he is in better shape than he was. The young mech's optics start to brighten as he begins to slowly come to.

Swivel has posed:
    News spread fast that a cadet had been killed by Decepticons and others were injured. But the truth of the matter as a jumbled mess, making Swivel anxious. She had been pacing in the hallways, deciding whether or not to poke her head into repair bay and see for herself if it was anyone she knew. She hadn't seen the report yet and was uneasy. On the other hand, she would likely just be underfoot if the damage was severe. If she has no business in repair bay she ought not be there, right? On the other hand, she could always come in complaining of feeling faint. But that would be lying. And the thought did not sit well with her. But... why SHOULDN'T she go there? If it's busy, she can just duck out again and no one would be the wiser, and she wouldn't really be inconveniencing anyone by just peeking, right? Right. Thus, after much deliberation, Swivel tip-toed (somehow, despite having no toes) into repair bay, sticking close to the exit and scanning the intensive care berths for someone familiar. Her optics pass over Hammerstrike without a second glance, as the large mech isn't really one of her acquaintences. Looking... looking... BINGO. Swivel's optics land on Hyperdrive's small frame - although she'd almost missed him as an attending medic was partially blocking her view.

    Speaking of attending medics, Hyperdrive hears a voice near him. "Hyperdrive. You with us, now?" THere is a pause as the junior medic checks the vitals statistics displaying on a monitor. "Do you know where you are?"

Hammerstrike has posed:
One of the medics that had been plucking out the shrapnel embedded in Hammerstrike's armour lifts their head, glancing over at Hyperdrive's berth. He smiles and then gets back to her task, mentioning in a well meaning yet casual tone, "Seems Hyperdrive might pull through. It's a good thing you brought him back when you did." There is nothing but a soft snort from Hammerstrike in response to this comment. He does glance briefly over towards Hyperdrive, but then he dips his chin and straightens his facing, staring at nothing in particular, his own blue optics dimming. As Swivel pays him no mind, neither does he pay any to her.

Hyperdrive has posed:
Hyperdrive says, "D-dead...sh-should be dead..they're dead....." His voice cracks as he tries to explain. His voice sharing the pain that he's not fully able to show via his damaged frame. He doesn't want to be here. He didn't deserver to be saved. The young mech tries to curl himself up so that he can just disappear or at least wish he could. "F-f-failed.....""

Swivel has posed:
    The junior medic listens to Hyperdrive's distraught words patiently. And while not lacking bedside manner per se, they are inexperienced in knowing what to say or do. They pause in awkward silence, filling up the time by checking all of the connections and viewing the vitals some more. Finally, they say, "You're a fighter. Part of you doesn't believe that, because you are here and awake...." There is another pause. "Let me get you something for the pain." They are aware the physical pain is likely dull in comparison to what Hyperdrive must be experiencing, but they are not a psychologist.

    Swivel's accute hearing manages to pick up Hyperdrive's words, even from across the room. She stands there, optics wide, and a chilling sensation running through her. It's not easy to see someone else in so much pain. But when the medic steps aside to grab some pain suppressants, Swivel sneaks in a little closer. "....'Yperdroive?"

Hammerstrike has posed:
     Hammerstrike grits his dentae. Perhaps that was because of a particularily deeply embedded piece of shrapnel being pulled out. But, it might also be in response to Hyperdrive. However, the mech shows no outwards signs of empathy, or even sympathy. Instead he gives a tired scowl at the medic. "Enough. I need to rest." The medic has little time to object before Hammerstrike rudely turns over, turning his back towards both the medic and the rest of the room. The medic looks down at the dish they'd been dropping the pieces of shrapnel into and shrugs. "I'll get you something to help you rest, then..." Naturally, Hammerstrike doesn't NEED to be awake for this part of the repairs. But he doesn't need to be anesthetised for it either. But if he's knocked out, he can't object - and will get the rest he demands. Simple solution.

Hyperdrive has posed:
Hyperdrive looks completely lost as his cracked optic moves to track Swivel. His voice is soft, "Why didn't th-they let me die too..." His small body shudders and wishes he wasn't so out in the open. If he could be smaller he would be but he's stuck on the medical bed with Swivel lookins at him accusidly. "c-couldn't save em....tried so hard. I tried."

Swivel has posed:
     Swivel continues to frown, not disapprovingly, but sympathetically. She reaches out her hand for a moment, but then hesitates. After a moment, she draws it back. It's been slapped away one too many times from emtoionally distraught people she'd tried to reach out to. On the other hand... when she was in a dark place, it was something she craved. A connection. Swivel looks at her hand, deliberating. After a moment, she shrugs and softly tries to put a hand on the less injured looking of his shoulders. Gently, mind you. Gently. "It's... not easy survivin' 'en other folk..." Swivel pauses. What is there to say? She sighs. "Call me selfish... but I'm glad you dinna die."

Hyperdrive has posed:
Hyperdrive isn't watching Swivel's inner battle. He's busy trying to deal with his own pain. The fact that he was alone now. Those that had been his family since as long as he could remember were now gone. Taken from him. Part of him railing that he tried. Part of him berating that he didn't try hard enough. Then the hand touches him and breaks him out of the cycle going on in his head. His eyes glare for a moment, accusing her of interrupting, stopping his thoughts? Or bringing him back to the present. But that look only lasts a microsecond before his arm comes up to intercept that hand and hold it there. His body shudders and he's shaking with even that effort but he holds that hand against him and only those closest to him might catch the faint keening sound of grief. Maybe out in the open he would wail his frustrations at the stars. But here he feels so lost.

Swivel has posed:
    The medic had returned by then with something to dull the pain. However seeing the interaction between Swivel and Hyperdrive they felt best not to intrude and instead decided to hang back, but still monitor Hyperdrive's health.

    The brief accusatory glare did not escape Swivels notice. However, she fought the urge to recoil, and was rewarded instead with a reciprocation of touch. Swivel draws in closer, just trying to use sheer proximity to communicate to him that, no, he is not entirely alone. She's unsure, though, with all the wires and injuries if a hug was really the best way to go. But she keeps her one hand against him, feeling his shuttering. She doesn't hush him, or coo. She doesn't say anything. Words, sometimes, cheapen a moment and convey so little.

Hyperdrive has posed:
Hyperdrive is clearly hurting though whether the emotional problems are worse than the physical would be hard telling. Finally the one optic rolls to look at Swivel. He shudders again, still suffering from a multitude of injuries but the hand grips tighter on Swivel's before going slack and he loses conciousness.

Swivel has posed:
    Responsively, the medic rushes over to Hyperdrive, gently nudging Swivel out otf the way, to administer something that can, at least, helpd with the pain from his physical injuries. Swivel, intuitively disengages and steps out of the medic's way, but lingers close by, keeping a watch on Hyperdrive without being underfoot.